Wednesday, May 18, 2016

The Getaway, Part 1

This one is longer short story, something I whipped up on a premise I've been turning over in my head. Part 2 will be along pretty soon.

Thank you for your patience--and for reading.




 There was something in the water, and it didn’t want them to leave.

 The Harrison family discovered this on day three of their vacation. The patriarch of the family, Josh Harrison, was a large man whose pleasure in escaping his Amazon packing facility was matched only by a passion for fishing and beer. The island was the perfect place for this: white sands, warm sun, and a bungalow quietly rented with cash from a friend who knew a friend. Technically, his salary wasn’t even sufficient to rent a quarter of this tiny tropical paradise, but he had done some favors for people—shipped “packages” that did not exactly contain products on the inventory sheet. As far as he was concerned, those opioids had gone to a good cause. You didn’t need to meet the people who took those, to understand an overdose was the best thing that could happen to them.

The patriarch drank, and he fished, and although he caught nothing he didn’t find it too concerning. His bait was tailored for muddy New Hampshire lakes, not the glittering blue flatness of the Gulf, and so when he came up with nothing he cast once more. And again. And again. And finally, when he caught nothing for three straight days, Josh began to grow a little annoyed. What the hell was the point of dropping illicit money from illicit gains on this little adventure, if he couldn’t prove his manhood by hauling in a tuna, or whatever the hell they had down here? It was just frustrating.

Not as frustrating as his family, of course. While he was busy turning brown and sucking at his nigh-infinite supply of Coors, his wife Sandra was doing her best to ignore the twins, who had begun fighting again. Charlie was convinced Tam had been stealing his Sunny D, and he went after her in the cruelest ways possible, employing the barbs only a sibling could twist so effectively. Opening salvoes included: Calling her fat (Josh thought this was harsh; she was pushing chubby, at most) and hiding her sunglasses. Subsequent strafing with sand, head-bonks with coconuts found in the shadows of the scrawny palm trees, and stolen beach toys led to a massive Tam meltdown where Josh had to step in and behave as the Voice of Authority. It ruined his buzz for most of Day Two.

On Day Three, he reported for fishing duty with the same plodding, round-bellied slowness that had marked his days at Amazon. He placed his cooler in the white sand, already growing warm from the rising sun, and slapped on some sunscreen. The last thing he wanted on this shit trip, he thought, was a sunburn, thick strips of red skin bubbling and peeling off. They only had eleven more days before the friend of a friend sent a ferry to pick them up, doubtless the same pot-reeking speedboat that had delivered them here. He had to make the most of his time.

Placing his lures and thumbing a morning cigarette into his mouth, he found he’d left his lighter in the bungalow where his family (blessedly) still slept. “Well, ain’t that just a pisser,” he said, and left the cigarette dangling where it sat, his saliva soaking the paper and leaching raw tobacco from within. Josh Harrison would be fucked if he was going to get up off his comfortable beach chair and go all the way back inside, perhaps waking Charlie and Tam and beginning the day’s war of attrition between them. No, he was going to park his ass right here and fish, wife and children be damned. He had beer, he had a tackle box, and he had his rod. If a man needed anything else (other than, he supposed, a nice rack nearby, or some mary-jane to make it all complete) he didn’t know what it was.

His thick lips rolled the cigarette back and forth. He cast the hook with a flick of his wrist, and he planned for his suicide.

Josh had been thinking about suicide a lot lately. You don’t get to a point in life where you’re dealing Oxy out of Amazon boxes, he’d decided, and just sit down and congratulate yourself. No, he was on his way down a slippery slope to an ugly end: either the packing station manager was going to catch him at work doing his little ‘favors’ to druggies across the East Coast, or his debts would get him first. Either way, it wasn’t a pretty picture. Sure, he manufactured the appearance of wealth: the reinforced-steel diver’s watch on his wrist, the leased Mercedes-Benz sitting in their driveway in New Hampshire. He even had a singular ratty, three-piece suit he wore to big meetings, when he slipped on the mask of Assistant Manager. But sooner or later, it was all going to come crashing down, and he didn’t want to be there when that happened. He didn’t want to be there to see the disappointment and blame on his kids’ faces, on Sandra’s. They already hated him for being distant and truculent: he wasn’t going to stick around and see what they thought of him when they were penniless, and living out of a trailer.

But most of all, he didn’t want to give up his creature comforts. He didn’t want to live in a world where he couldn’t afford a six-pack and a pack of Camels a day, a world in which he couldn’t safely fund his kids’ education from a distance and provide Sandra with nice jewelry on her birthday. He refused to give up the mantle of Worldly Wealthy Man, and it was for this reason more than any other that he was pondering the end of his life. He saw a crooked path ahead of him, one where he was forced to reconsider everything about himself at the tender age of forty-three: he would have to face the choices he had made, and either go to jail or change everything about himself. Neither were tenable, to a man of his temperament. And he was too tired to deal with that shit after forty-three years of getting crapped on by the world.

No, this trip was his last-chance dance, his Hail Mary pass. This trip, thought Josh, was the final movement of an orchestral piece called “My Fucked Life.” The encore, entitled “Fat Loser Hangs Himself In his Bungalow” would be a special, invitation-only performance, which he would probably arrange once he sent Sandra and the kids back to the mainland a day early. He would call the speedboat guy, Chuck, on their single satellite phone and say they needed to be back in town—and then make up a reason to stay behind. He hadn’t really sussed this part out yet, but it would get done. Oh, yes, it would get done. He refused to go back to the frigid, snow-grimed village of Westmeer, that anus of New England: no, he was going to die where he wanted to, looking out at this gorgeous vista with its endless robin’s-egg sky and subtle, scudding pale clouds.

As it happened, he was entirely correct about dying, although the method turned out to be different.

The first tug on his line shocked him so completely, he almost lost his grip on the pole. The tiny translucent wire had gone straight, vibrating with a hidden purpose. He had a bite! By Christ, three days and he finally had a bite! He honestly hadn’t expected this, and now he was at a loss as to what to do. “Reel it in, dumbass,” he told himself at last, and began to grin. “Reel it in, sucker!”

He reeled. But the tension on the line was growing, the pull on it powerful, insistent. Violent. Against his will, Josh rose from the chair—wheezing—and hauled on the rod’s grip. The bobber zipped and zagged through the surf, the blinding reflection of dawn playing over it. It filled his vision with spots, yet he was ecstatic; he had been delivered from dullness, from the inactivity that had plagued him all vacation long. All his life, in fact. At the zenith of his sad and peculiar existence, Josh Harrison was a pot-bellied king of the beach in that moment, raging a noble fight against what he (wrongly) assumed to be a very feisty fish. He felt like the Old Man of Hemingway, at war with nature yet at peace with it, and the experience filled him with a masculine vigor he hadn’t felt in years.

Then something odd curled out of the waves, clutching at the line. Something long and glistening, and sinuous, like a rope, which twined around the fishing wire as if trying to form a strand of DNA. The body of it was thick and pulsed with muscle. There was a grasping set of digits on the end, like a hand, pink and wriggling; it crept, and squeezed, with patient curiosity.

Josh was half-drunk, and no expert on fish, but when he saw that oozing appendage climb up his line, his survival instincts jerked on by reflex—and he let go of the rod. It sailed out into the wetness, tugged underwater and lost, and he was left standing there with empty open hands and a chill in the cavity of his chest.

What the fuck was that?

No, seriously, what was that? If that was a fish, then Josh was the Queen of fucking England. His vision wasn’t as good as it had been—his contacts were back in the bungalow, probably palling it up with his lighter—but he knew what he had seen. An arm, or a tentacle of some kind, reaching up the line… probing, seeking. There was something out there. He thought he could see a hump of water being displaced among the ripples, a current disturbed. Suddenly, the warm brightness of the sun seemed a lot less comforting. He was on the edge of admitting that maybe he didn’t want to fish anymore; maybe he wanted to go inside.

Maybe he was scared.

Then his stubbornness rolled over inside him and kicked—hard. He had paid a lot of money for that rod: money he didn’t have, money he couldn’t afford. It had been a KastKing Black Hawk, with extra trimmings, bells and whistles the tackle shop website had cajoled him into buying, seduced him into buying. Josh had always been bad with money, but never before had the universe simply stolen a purchase off him and sucked it down into the depths like that. He thought of the price tag on the KastKing, and cringed. A purchase like that could have bought school supplies for the kids for three years. There was no way he could justify leaving it behind.

He took a tentative step into the water. The sea was warm, already cooked by the sun as it travelled up the shallows towards the edge of their tiny slice of heaven. Or at least, what would have been heaven, if he hadn’t brought his family along. His toes sank into the cool sand, meshed with the fragments of shells and the occasional seaweed strand, and he relaxed. It’d probably been an octopus or something, curious about the lure, that had clung on and been pulled out by the current. He had handled hundreds of thousands in illegal narcotics; he could handle one stupid goddamn shellfish.

Josh went deeper; the sea was up to his knees, now, and the sun was hot and so very, very bright, lancing into his eyes despite the tint of his Raybans. He peered about, looking for the rod. Unless the hook had sunk really deep into the octopus or whatever-it-was (his mind whispered octopi don’t have claws and he told it to shut up, he wasn’t letting his vacation get ruined by a fish) it would have let go when the current hit, and the rod would float to the surface as it was designed to do. It should be around here—

Something grabbed his leg.

It was firm and rough, yet clammy, like a sponge full of sharp grasping wires. He felt immediate pain as something pierced his angle, and sucked in his breath to let out a yell, an indignant and very frightened yell. Josh Harrison’s interactions with animals were limited to crushing spiders Sandra wouldn’t go touch, various sickly fish pulled from New Hampshire lakes, and his childhood dog Bobo. He was not prepared for whatever this thing was—he had not evolved for it. His mind, set in its ways as a packager and mover and shaker of the world, took time to understand what was happening.

During that time, he was pulled off his feet, a brutal twist hauling his leg out from under him and crashing his heavy body into the sea. Salty, warm water filled his mouth, nose and eyes and he began to panic. The thing that had his leg was digging into it, grasping, scraping. Sucking at his flesh. Lost and in pain, with adrenaline dumped into his system by the bucketload, he grabbed at the sand, coming up with plumes of useless silt. There were no handholds on this lovely beach, nothing to grab onto, and the chair was so far away—maybe he could get a beer can, beat the creature off with it—

But the strength and the commitment of the thing to its meal was far greater than Josh’s commitment to stay alive. Just as he raised his head over the waterline and took a bleary-eyed, desperate lungful of air, it pulled again. This time, strips of flesh were raked off his soft calf and the skin of his shin, and he let the air out in a scream. Suicide was one thing—a quick jerk of the vertebrae, or a slow demise via car exhaust had seemed romantic to him, almost poetic. This was different. This death was red, toothy and clawed, and it hurt. Christ alive, it hurt so much. Nothing he had experienced, even in his nightmares, had ever hurt this much.

His last thought was, It’s eating me. It’s eating me alive.

The tugging turned into a steady pull, and he was dragged out of the shallows with a wake trailing behind him like a boat. Thrashing, burbling, grasping at nothing, Josh Harrison vanished beneath the warm sub-tropical waves.

He did not come up again.

This was how the family found out, on day three of their fourteen-day trip, that the thing in the water wanted them. It had grown large, hungry, and strange on the pollutants in the Gulf, on desperate natural selection, and it wanted them very badly indeed.

It would be hours before Sandra came out to check on her depressed, dismissive husband. It would be hours before they even realized he was gone.

The sun rose, scintillating and brilliant. Waves hissed. A few gulls wheeled, crying.

Underneath the blue, something fed on Josh’s meat.

Monday, May 9, 2016

Post 1: Moon Spiders


Welcome to Gaslight Rambler, home of rampantly unpublished part-time writer Paul Spears. Here we have the leftovers, the little deaths, the minor earthquakes and tremors of a story that might be or a story that might have been. Flash fiction, chunks of memoir, the story of what happened when Bonnie and Clyde got Instagram. This is the spiritual zoo where we keep the psychedelia, the purple leopards with yellow spots and eyes like beetles.

Here, under glass, I stash the strangeness in my head.

Post #1: Craterface

There are things on the moon.

Put that away. No, you can't see them on Google! Open your mind. That's not how you see reality. You go in there, reality has already been taken from you. Invisible fingers scrabble up the evidence, scraping the images clean. You're never going to see anything online. I'm talking about the naked eye here. I'm talking extraterrestrial shit.

I'm talking moon spiders.

Yes, laugh. Go on, laugh. I like it when you laugh: it reminds me they haven't gotten to me yet. The ones who tell me I should have stayed on the funny farm, the ones who burnt my fingers with matches when I was six, they yes T H E Y have already been lobotomized. Don't ask me how--it's not my place to say!--but I bet if you opened up their skulls, the cranial orbs of the cacklers and hatemongers, you wouldn't find brains but some sort of slippery collection of artificially inserted tentacles. Don't you tell me what's crazy!

I know a thing or two about crazy.

The moon spiders. That's what we were talking about. Yes, I can see them. You can too with a powerful enough telescope. A piddly Orion patio tripod isn't going to do it--no, you need something bigger, something on the order of Hubble. A big beast, the kind NASA shits out like diamond-encrusted taxpayer-funded turds every now and then. Turn my money into an orbital bombardment satellite and call it a telescope, will you? That's all well and good but you might as well put a lens on the damn thing, you know what I'm saying?

You don't know what I'm saying. That's fine.

Anyway, if you can get remote access to one of these--it's easy, if you know the right people--you can zoom in on the lunar surface. Very bleak, very beautiful landscape, like Arizona or Nevada with all the color slurped out. The Midwest in grayscale, ha-ha. And if you can up the resolution on the images a little--of course they've got a digital feed, you don't really believe that it's not live and twenty-four-seven and watching us all constantly, right?--you can see them. My strange little friends.

They're quite busy creatures. They live in craters, mostly; I find their communal structure fascinating. They seem to have a modicum of intelligence, which is more than I can say for the humans I know. Ha! Most times they roll rocks into odd configurations, or skitter across the landscape like dainty little puffs of legs on spiny tendrils. I say 'spiders' but really they're much more like crabs, big crabs on the order of the Marianas Trench entities or the ugly bastards off the coast of Japan. They're quite agile due to the low gravity. How do they eat and breathe? Don't look at me, I'm not a biologist. God, you just don't listen at all, do you? I've told you this a thousand times, over and over: I'm a cryptozoologist. I study cryptids. You don't care, you just don't care. That's alright.

I'll make you understand.

Sometimes the little guys (I haven't come up with a name for them yet, but I will--I named the legless weasels of West Virginia after my sister, she was so sweet when she was alive) will put on a puppet show. I shit you not; this actually happens. It's fascinating. They'll drag out a space suit from some poor undocumented CIA astronaut or lost Soviet cosmonaut, they'll crawl inside that ripped fabric with the bloodstains still caked in (frozen solid for all time, of course, it's chilly on the moon) and they'll do a little dance. I don't know what the dance is called, exactly, but they seem to be having a pretty good time.

I suspect it's a jab at communication. Communication is so important, don't you agree? I would have communicated with people more, if they'd cared about me. About my work. I would have talked with my sister more often. I might have even talked to you, before you cut my funding and stole my satellite uplinks away. We could have had camaraderie, you and I. We could have been good buddies.

But we're not.

It's so peaceful here, I like it. Nobody to bother us, or make noise. Just us, and the moon spiders. And this is why I brought you: they've taken up art, lately. Scribbling designs across the lunar dust. Not tracks, designs--they're writing. A curious, alien foray into literature, scratched on dead gray particles for the whole world to see. And they're very committed to this project--they've covered several square kilometers already. It will only be a matter of time before the patterns become visible to the naked eye. What will NASA and the world government do, then? Mass mind-wipes? Theta ray bombardments? It seems so much trouble, just to hide a few invertebrates. I shudder at the thought of such misuse of public funds.

Why are they doodling up there, do you think? Documenting their history, perhaps? Their culture? Or maybe they're just tired of being ignored. Like all strange, creeping creatures living in ugly places, they feel the urge to come out and taste daylight occasionally. To push their boundaries. Much like myself, when you put me under duress.

You shouldn't prod the lesser creatures of the universe... We have a tendency to bite.

Place your eye against the telescope--yes, right there. The patterns will become visible quite soon. A few days at most. The adhesive on the viewfinder will keep your skin nice and snug, removing any chance of a missed sighting. Electric shocks will keep your eyes open, when I want them open. It will take a little while, but you'll see. I was right all along, don't you get it? The proof is out there, right over our heads! My vindication!

At long last, you'll truly see.